Ah the wonders of correlation vs. causation. Did you know that the average age of Miss America is directly related to murders by steam, hot vapours, and hot objects?! (courtesy of Spurious Correlations http://tylervigen.com/ and no, I didn't ask for permission to reference this, but free publicity right? Also, if there is a problem with this, call me. Or call me anyways ;) ).
But I digress, Britney Spears gave me a seizure. Or, more accurately, her endless trail of photography stalkers did it. See I was on the luxurious couch graciously provided my by college dorm decorators while watching E! News. You could say right now, well you deserved what ensued. Britney Spears was on the red carpet and a million camera were flashing at her. This is a nightmare for those who are photosensitive. That's why I gave up my promising career as a starlet; I couldn't handle the flashbulbs. Well, the relentless hounds that provide my entertainment caused me to have a seizure.
My roommate, the same one who (whom? you can tell I have my masters and work as a technical writer) witnessed my bus ride episode, came to the room because she heard a banging noise. That was my flailing body knocking against the extremely comfortable furniture. I akin this to the time my father came outside to yell at me to stop yelling. There was a baby rattlesnake about to bite me. See, sometimes I'm not as dramatic as you may think. My roommate called the ambulance again. Of course I would too in her situation. Again, the nurse was mad at me. But I hadn't ben drinking recently (as in, the night before). All I was guilty of was watching trash TV (which I still do...shh). But I've learned that is the nature of having a condition doctors don't fully understand, at least in my case. It is my fault for triggering these seizures. I do accept partial responsibility. It is my brain after all. And what am I besides my brain?...more on this in a Cartesian post. But ultimately, I blame Britney.
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